Payback
by fleurs colorees
Summary: Sam will never let Freddie win, even if the stakes are slightly out of the norm. Post iKiss, fluff and marshmallows all around. :p
1. Payback

So I've been itching to write another one of these. I'm really not sure what drew me to this pairing, seriously. Sometimes corny things in shows really turn me off - like, the whole love/hate relationship between two people can get pretty overplayed, right? But I think it's 'cause I love Sam and Freddie so much as characters on their own, so together they just make me uber happy. I dunno. =o

* * *

Payback

* * *

It was more like a treaty than a first kiss. A mutual agreement, a secret pact: lips would meet, and them promise to never speak of the event again.

And it wasn't like your typical treaty, either. Usually treaties are used to instill something like peace or stability, but not in the case of Sam and Freddie. No, Sam intended on further heightening Freddie's sense of fear and displeasure. More so now - after they engaged in an act so affectionately uncharacteristic - than ever before.

The second kiss was a strategic move. There was a lot of teasing and taunting involved, and an argument revolving around a certain audio track Freddie recorded in order to "check the microphone." A momentous Jackson Colt-filled episode of iCarly just aired, and the two of them decided it was time to leave the Shays for the night, but Sam just wouldn't stop laughing at the embarrassing vocal clip she found on his laptop. It _was_ partially his fault for bringing up the ploy with their doppelgangers, but Freddie didn't know what else to do to make her drop the subject. He could have ignored her. Hell, he could have slammed the door in her face without so much as a word goodbye. At least his chosen tactic successfully shut her up, albeit leaving her flustered and angry as she made her way to her own home.

The third kiss was revenge. No way in _hell _was Sam going to allow Freddie the upper-hand now. She was used to winning, especially when it came to him. And now he held something over her that was way worse than any old prank, considering what she had to do in order to get the ball back in her court. She had to catch him off guard too, but not in the way he'd caught her. This time, the two were walking from the Groovy Smoothie, having a relatively civil conversation about prospective segments to include in iCarly for that week. Of course, there was some taunting - mostly at the technical producer's expense - but with Sam and Freddie, mockery was standard in their lighter conversations.

They were close to Carly's apartment now. Freddie was still babbling away about some prospective ideas he had in mind for that week's bit of 'Wake Up Spencer', but Sam wasn't listening. She caught him mid-sentence, planting a hungry kiss against his lips. She was more demanding, more forceful, than he was, and - not much to her surprise - left Freddie stunned. She smirked at him when she pulled away, pretty proud of herself. "You should know better than to try to one-up me, Freddork," She said with a vengeance, before turning to open the door. "Carly!" She called, "Got you something from the Groovy Smoothie."

She walked in casually, handing the smoothie over to her best friend, but he stood in the doorway with lingering effects of her surprise attack and traces of berry medley flavor on his lips.

* * *

WOW this was short. I wanted to make this longer, really. I wanted to have Carly ask what was Freddie's problem & have Sam answer with something like 'oh, he lost his laptop charger' or something lame like that, but the dialogue wasn't flowing well with the rest of the story so I just decided to stop it there. I'm sorry if Sam & Freddie seem kind of out of character, but it was fun to write. Normal kissing scenes that are backed by an actual boyfriend/grilfriend relationship is too hard for me to write for them. =P I can't really picture it.

I have this really horrible habit of keeping my author notes super long so I'm gonna stop rambling & say thanks for reading. Yay! =)


	2. Treaty

So over at LJ, someone gave me the idea to make each kiss from Payback a different chapter, which I obviously freaked out over because I thought it'd be a fun thing to do. So I guess Payback is still a oneshot, and this is sort of more of an...extension of it? An alternate version? Haha I dunno. The idea seemed like it'd be cool to try out, so tadaaa!

This part probably won't be too interesting because it's basically just my take on iKiss, but it was still fun to write & I hope you like reading it. =)

* * *

Payback:** Treaty**

* * *

There was no denying that Sam valued Carly's friendship nearly as much as she valued a colossal-sized bucket of fried chicken, but honestly, why did she have to be so right about everything?

She was right when she insisted that Jonah was a poor excuse for a boyfriend. And she was right when she proudly stated that Sam owed it to Carly, Freddie - and hell, even Gibby - to join them on their slightly underhanded group date with Shannon. Now, Sam knew Carly was _definitely _right when it came to this. Freddie's reputation - not to mention his self-esteem - was completely devastated over a live streaming of their web show, and it was entirely Sam's doing. Of course she owed him an apology. It was the least she could do, after causing him that much humiliation.

But somehow, declaring to the entire virtual world that she'd never been kissed before was much easier than actually facing the sulking Freddie on his fire escape. Apologizing to him wouldn't be the hardest part of the evening, though. Shockingly enough, kissing him wouldn't be it, either. No, it would probably be living with the knowledge that they actually had gone through with something so charmingly unusual.

It would be their secret. Their own way of overcoming the teenage lameness that was virgin lips - nobody would ever have to know. They didn't have to enjoy it - well, it might be _nice _to enjoy her first kiss, but prior to that moment, the idea of kissing Fredward Benson would promptly cause her to vomit.

Apparently, Freddie's guess of Sam's response wasn't any better than regurgitation. "You're gonna break my arm now, right?" He asked, swallowing. Maybe suggesting that they share a kiss wasn't exactly worth the bone fracture.

"No," She said after a moment's pause, much to Freddie's relief and surprise. It was the moments like these, moments where Sam actually treated him like a decent human being - sometimes, even _nicely _- that Freddie found so few and far between. And he learned to cherish them long ago.

He hesitated before speaking again. "Well...should we?" The nervousness on his face was unmistakeable. "Just so both of us can get it over with?"

She mulled over the idea for a moment. "Just to get it over with," She said firmly, pointing a finger at him for added reasoning.

"Just to get it over with," He echoed.

"And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as its over," It wasn't a question, it was a statement. If Freddie _didn't _go back to hating Sam after this moment, there'd be hell to pay.

"Totally," He agreed, "And we never tell _anyone_."

"Never," She bit her lip.

First kisses were weird. Sure, they were supposed to be magical and romantic, but Sam heard the other stories. Firsts of anything were usually uncomfortable and awkward, so Sam wasn't exactly anticipating anything special. Much to her dismay, she _did _enjoy it. It was a painful thing to admit, but luckily, the only person she had to admit it to was herself, as nobody - _nobody _- would ever find out that the rebel and the geek ever locked lips.

She turned to leave. It felt like her heart was going to ricochet out of her chest cavity. Her face was hot with embarrassment - and maybe something that could have been pleasure, but she wasn't to be mistaken. She was positive that Freddie could never invoke such a reaction out of her.

There were a few clumsy verbal exchanges, but Freddie managed to smile at her before she walked away. "I hate you," He confirmed proudly, but the words were anything but loathsome.

"Hate you too," The feeling was mutual as she slid back through the window and left the fire escape, though the only thing Sam hated at the moment was the swarm of butterflies that decided to plague her insides.

* * *

I haven't taken on any chapter stories in forever. Mainly because I absolutely fail at updating them. That's why I love oneshots - I don't ever have to update anything. ;o But considering that I really only have two more parts to add, and I'm guessing the next parts will be more fun to do, I will probably have this completed, yay! =)  
Also I'm sorry if any of this seems overly corny. I'm not a fan of things that like...super ultra amazingly cheesy, but I have to admit that cuteness is my weakness & tried to keep this as adorable as I could without being over the top. =P


	3. Strategic Move

So, the second part of the Payback extension is done! This so beats writing argumentative papers. Gotta love procrastination.

For once I actually don't have too much to say in my side notes. So I guess just enjoy reading? =)

* * *

Payback: **Strategy**

* * *

"Well Sam, you've done it. You've officially cleaned out my fridge."

Carly analyzed the contents of the refrigerator, which contained nothing but a half-full water pitcher and a lone can of soda. The sink was towering with dishes, most of which were used by Sam.

"Sorry," The blonde replied, "Guess I get kind of hungry when MMA wrestlers guest star on iCarly." Jackson Colt - along with the three look-a-likes - actually left the Shay apartment not too long after the show aired for the week. It left Carly, Sam, and Freddie by themselves for the night, with a tired Spencer still sleeping on the couch.

"You think?" Freddie smirked, risking a broken hand by taking the last Peppy Cola for himself. He'd only popped the can open before Sam immediately snatched it from him and took the first swig. Well, that's what he got for being sarcastic.

Carly eyed the sink. "I'm too tired to worry about the di-" A loud snort sounded from the living room, interrupting her. Carly laughed, peering at her brother, who was obviously heavily asleep.

"I think Spence's got the right idea," She said, "I'm beat. Sam, are you staying?"

Sam shrugged with one shoulder. "Nah, I think I'm actually going to sleep in my own house tonight. But I'll be back bright and early tomorrow to eat from your fridge again, so stock up."

"Okay, but you owe me," Carly joked and followed her friends the door as they showed themselves out, "How am I supposed to stock up my entire fridge in only a couple of hours?"

"I dunno. I'll get you something from the Groovy Smoothie to make it up to you," She took another sip of the stolen soda, opening the door.

"Right. I'm sure buying a Citrus Oasis is going to cover the cost of groceries, Sam," Freddie quipped. Sam grunted. Freddie was obviously paying more attention to her insult tactics, otherwise he wouldn't be getting better at coming up with snide comments.

"Quiet, Benson," She shot back, "Just be impressed that I offered to do something nice for once." She started walking out of the door, Freddie following her.

"Why? It's not like you were doing anything nice for _me_, you were doing something nice for your best friend! I'd say that's pretty expected!"

"Okay, goodnight guys," Carly chuckled, closing the door behind her bickering friends as they continued to argue in the hallway. She could still hear them through the closed door before walking away to her bedroom.

"Why do you always do this?" He whined, clearly exaughisted with her taunting for the night. "I swear, Sam, it's been all week. Between the iCarly rehearsals and comparing me with that picture of a _toilet_ on the show, embarrassing me in front of the look-a-likes-"

"Oh right, thanks for reminding me," Sam replied, ignoring his complaints, "I forgot about that one!" Freddie wouldn't have been so annoyed with her if he hadn't been so tired. Between setting up the ploy with their doppelgangers, sneaking into an MMA fight, and airing and episode of iCarly, he definitely felt worn. But Sam kept laughing, disregarding his pleas for her silence.

"You'd have to be a real idiot to record something like _that _and leave it on your computer," She gawked, mimicking Freddie's voice from his audio clip, "'_My name's Fredward Benson and I absolutely l_ooo_ve Carly Shay._'"

"Shut up, Sam."

"'_Testing, testing! Ooh, I l_oo_ve you, Carly!_'"

"Sam, I mean it!"

She laughed harder at his attempt to pose a threat. "Real intimidating, dorkwad. You totally shut me up, I'm just too scared to-"

He actually did shut her up, just not in the way either of them expected to get the other quiet. And Sam couldn't laugh at him anymore, when her mouth was occupied by Freddie's. He relished in the quiet hallway for a few seconds before a 'clank' and a spill broke them apart.

Sam's face was beat red once it finally ended. "Y-you!" She stammered, "W-what the _hell_ was that for?!" She stepped back away from him, noticing that she was stepping in something that sounded like water. She looked down at her shoes, the soles of which were now covered in Peppy Cola.

She was furious. Her eyes traveled back up to Freddie; his features held a strange mix of satisfaction and fear.

The fear dominated the rest of his emotion when she growled and bolted at him, but Freddie was lucky enough to make a quick escape inside. He could hear her collide with his apartment door, banging her fists against it in a livid rage.

"You're going to be sorry you did that, Benson!" She roared, "That, _and _you spilled my soda! You're gonna pay!"

After a final '_bam_!' against the door, he could hear Sam's sneakers sticking against the hallway tile, furious and embarrassed as she walked off. He was sure Sam was far enough from Bushwell before returning outside with a few paper towels and a bottle of tile cleaner.

The door across from him opened. "Freddie?" Carly asked, confusion and concern evident on her features. "What's going on? I was getting ready for bed, but then I heard yelling."

Freddie stood up, holding the empty soda can. "Yeah...I accidentally knocked this out of Sam's hand," He responded, hoping she couldn't detect the lie. "So she pretty much threatened to kill me."

Carly smiled and shook her head. "Oh," She turned to walk back into her apartment, "Well, I'd say you'd better watch your back, then. Night, Freddie," She chuckled, shutting the door behind her.

Freddie sighed heavily, exasperated. "Seriously," He muttered to himself, "You have no idea."

* * *

Yay for dialogue! I feel like I had the characters talking more in this one. Which is nice, I love talking. =D

Anyway, this was a lot of fun to write. I kinda wish I had Freddie saying more besides snide comments at Sam's expense before they left Carly's apartment, but oh well.I think I'm kind of pleased with this one anyway. =P  
Oh and I actually have no idea if they mentioned any smoothie flavors in iCarly so Citrus Oasis was something I kind of borrowed from Freshens or Jamba Juice or something, haha. Love smoothies. 3  
And I kind of didn't talk about why Freddie kissed Sam anyway, but I'll get to it in the third part...=P When I went back to add it in I didn't think it flowed well with the rest of the story.

As always, respectful feedback appreciated. =)


End file.
